Why Successful People are Accused of Being Cocky

My friends,

We have all seen it. That person you went to high school or college with gets a high profile job, becomes a professional athlete, or simply works his/her ass off and becomes rich and here come the haters.

Sure, they get their fair share of fake love or cling ons, but the majority just want to criticize. Why does this happen? Well, its mostly psychological in nature.

You see, when people see other people doing something that they know for a fact they themselves cannot do (or can do but they’re being lazy) it makes them mad. It makes them frustrated. It makes them extremely angry to the point where they literally “hate” another person that has what they want.

It is extremely difficult for people to be happy for others when they are not happy with themselves.

We have all experienced this emotion to some degree. Some experience it to a much larger degree than others. This is human nature.

When you feel this emotion do not lash out negatively. Instead, harness this emotion and use it to drive you!

If you are weak, you spread lies and hate about the individual because in an indirect way they make you feel negative about yourself. If you are a strong and confident individual you will use that energy to inspire your own aspirations and learn from those who have succeeded before you.

Any other reaction besides empowerment and motivation is weak and destroys you from the inside. Jealousy, defeat, covetousness, etc. are all BIG no no’s. I promise you my friend. You will put yourself in an even darker place then you already are if you happen to be experiencing these emotions.

People will hate what they see in others because they see the same things in themselves, good or bad. You can deny this all you want, but it is oftentimes true.

You know you can do better.

You know you can work harder.

You know you can save that money and make that investment, but you don’t, and when you see that guy/gal that did… it eats you alive! You know that could be you!! You just lack the discipline to make it happen.

I challenge you now to make a change and start heading in the direction you know will lead you to the end goal you desire. It isn’t all that complicated, but it does take discipline and time.

The things that happen to us in our lives can be complicated. What is not complicated is controlling the things you CAN control. It is that simple. You either do it or you don’t.

Now that we have established the emotion people experience you can begin to understand why so many view successful individuals as “cocky”.

Most people have the toughest time understanding that successful people do not owe them a damn thing.

NOTHING!

If you are like me, this baffles you.

Just because someone is rich and/or famous does not mean they are your role model. It does not mean they should walk or talk or act the way you think they should.

You see this all the time with professional athletes when they choose to go to another team. Fans that once loved and adored them will burn their jerseys in the streets because they feel that the athlete “owed the fans” or “owed the city” something.

Here is the simplest way I explain this to people:

When was the last time someone you do not know personally tried to tell you where you were allowed to live and work?

Probably never, but if they did I am sure you would tell them to go piss up a rope.

A warranted response.

Or…how to spend your money? Or…how you should raise your kids?

You get the picture. There are many other ways we could fill in the blank. None of which are acceptable.

When folks in the limelight do not do what others think they should do they are called cocky, self absorbed, and every other adjective in the book.

Excessive celebrations are only excessive to YOU. It is all subjective. Negative, jealous, and self-absorbed people do not understand this concept.

We all know what they say about opinions.

Small minds talk about other people in a negative light. You are NOT God. It is not your job to judge others or determine their actions as right or wrong.

What is included in your responsibilities is worrying about your own actions and your own successes and your own failures.

If people would spend as much time on themselves as they do on others they would have one hell of a self improvement story.

No one is perfect. It takes incredible discipline and endless hours of hard work to be great. At the end of the day you have to do it for you.

Sure, you can look to your family, friends, mentors, and your idols for motivation, which you should. However, you MUST find it within yourself to dedicate your life to greatness.

It will not happen overnight, but remember my friends…

PERSISTENCE ALWAYS WINS.

Until next time…

Keep it up,

Jet Sunvale

What Has Happened to the Modern Man? Masculine Doesn’t Mean Lazy!

This is going to hurt a lot of people’s feelings, and it should.

I may tear you down, but I will always build you back up. Smarter, stronger, better. Hang in there with me.

Yes the title is attention grabbing, it’s meant to be. It’s not the usual nonsense you are used to hearing though, that I can promise you. Let’s get started!

Feminine and Masculine traits date back to the beginning of time, and those that designate which traits are masculine and which are feminine date back just as far.

Some of those people are right, the majority are wrong.

The problem is, over time the line has been blurred. It has been blurred so much so that the simple things a masculine, straight, man should do to take care of himself have been categorized as feminine, metrosexual, or even homosexual.

I have actually seen a man point at another man and say, “That guy is either gay or rich!”

Wait, WHAT???

Let me be the first (hopefully not the first) to tell you… Labelling is never good. Don’t do it to others. Don’t do it to yourself. Entrepreneurs know this better than anyone. Labels hamper creativity!

So how come the gentleman who is well groomed and well dressed is all of a sudden labelled? One word my friends: Insecurity.

The insecurity of others runs deep. We all know that you do not have to be either “gay or rich” to exercise proper hygiene or dress rakish or refined.

With all the clothing lines out there now you can look like a million bucks for only $100, and sometimes cheaper, head to toe! If fashion isn’t your thing, that’s fine. Start searching the web. DON’T BE LAZY!!!

People will try their best to cast a negative light on something they believe they will never be able to achieve.  Remember that, it will guide you around the naysayers.

So why do so many men now days take the lazy route? Well, most are scared.

They are scared they don’t know what they are doing. Some are scared of what their friends/family will think. Some are even scared of their own success or looking better than their friends. Can you believe that? I can. It happens to all of us in one or more points of our lives. Get over it and jump.

Some are born not giving a shit what others think.  They have it a bit easier. The rest of you will have to make this move the way you make any move. You just do it and don’t look back. The long term payoff will be well worth it.

……………

So, you’ve finally jumped. You’re ready to be rakish, refined, and a little rugged around the edges.  Now, how does this translate into RESULTS in all aspects of your life? Listen up, here we go.

Let’s think logically on this for a minute… first date or job interview… which one do you want to look better for? If you guessed one or the other you failed miserably. The answer is equally as presentable for both!

Looking the part is not just reserved for one occasion or another. It now applies to all occasions that could be potentially be life changing.  Doors open all the time, but they slam in your face faster.

Every time you are out in public you should always be well maintained.  You never know when you could run into your future business parter or your future wife. Don’t fuck either up by looking like a slob!

Your drive to take care of yourself reflects your drive in all areas of your life such as your career and valuing your relationships with friends, family and significant others.

The first scenario: You are a gentleman and you are pursuing a fairly well put together lady. She’s put together mentally, physically, and every other way you desire (envision whatever it is you like, different strokes for different folks).

What do you expect she is going to look for in you? “I hope he is sloppy and rarely bathes/shaves and just wears the first thing he grabs out of the dryer that’s clean.”, said no women EVER.

It sounds so obvious when I say it, but why do so many men waltz through life this way and wonder why there are zero RESULTS???

I don’t think I have to elaborate on this any further. Don’t be lazy and don’t be a slob or else your woman will reflect it!

Women are going to want someone who looks the part. This is what gets you the date. You must give off the “hey, I’m worth your time” vibe.  Don’t miss your opportunity because you failed to set yourself up for success.

The second scenario: You are going for a job interview. You wear something casual, but nothing that is a game changer. You are not dressed to impress. Your are not ready to attack. You MUST be on the attack at all times. If you’re always on offense, you never have to play defense.

Got it? Good.

Did you know that the person interviewing you will actually ask you different questions and change their attitude/demeanor toward you based on how you are dressed???

Your attire is the easy part of the interview. It’s like getting points on the test for spelling your name correctly. It’s a no-brainer. It’s your chance to establish your dominance before you speak a word or before you shake a hand.

DO NOT GET THIS WRONG!

Your look determines your attitude. Your attitude determines your demeanor. Your demeanor determines your performance. Your performance determines your pay.

My friends, you now have your base and are headed in the right direction. I can hype you up as much as the next guy, but at the end of the day the it’s up to you and only you. No one else has to live your life. What type of life do you want it to be? Do you want to blend in with others and never be ridiculed or hated, yet live a boring and mediocre life? Or do you want to live an extraordinary life full of rewards at every turn? This is why they will hate you. Insecurity remember? They cannot have what you have because you committed long ago. We’ll talk soon.

Until then…

Keep it up,

Jet Sunvale

6 Habits of the Highly Unique Male

Hello Friends,

Today I want to dive into a topic that I get asked about quite frequently.  Over the years I have been asked this question by friends, family, coworkers, and even complete strangers. The question is always asked in a roundabout, nonchalant way, but the question is always the same.

“How does one differentiate themselves in day-to-day life and not get lost in the masses?”

Let’s face it fellas, when you blend in you get overlooked in every aspect of life… overlooked for that new promotion, overlooked by the woman you have interest in, overlooked by even your friends because you just exist, but aren’t overly interesting.

You might as well have camouflage on. You might as well not even be there. This is depressing, as it should be, but once someone recognizes this about themselves they can take the necessary steps to correct it and live a much more meaningful and successful life.

As a man, we are programmed to be providers and to be dominant. How do you expect to pull that off when you are doing what everyone else is doing? You can’t!

How can you? 

Here are the 9 Habits of the Highly Unique Male:

1. Research

Did you think you were going to become unique and wise without putting in any work? Not a chance! This is your base and your most important step to catapult yourself into your new lifestyle.

We live in a time where all the information we could ever want is literally at our fingertips. You are reading this because you want a problem solved and you are seeking information! If you are just starting your journey to become unique, go overboard on this step!

Google is your friend. From expert opinions, to peer reviewed studies – find and read them. This research step should be applied to every aspect of your life – diet, fitness, fashion, automobiles, hygiene products, houseware, etc. Start with the best in each category then filter down depending on preference/budget. You will surprise yourself that you can have “the best” (or close to it) in many of these categories simply because you did not settle for what was on the shelf at the local department/grocery store. It will take a little work, but will set you apart from every other person you come in contact with. You will literally have a better or more unique version of everything compared to the next guy for either the same price or cheaper!

eCommerce is HUGE. This is the beauty of capitalism. There are so many great companies fighting for your dollar which results in you receiving the best product for the least amount of money!

2. Follow Trends

But wait, I thought we were trying to be unique and stand out? Why would I follow trends? For that exact reason my friends, so you know what NOT to do.

Those who follow trends gain only temporary notoriety or success. They ride the wave, but what happens when the wave runs out? What we are aiming for is timeless. A strategy I have used in the past is to build on en existing trend. Building on an existing trend can allow you to create something timeless. How can you take something that has already been done, yet make it so much better no one will ever want it any other way?

3. Listen to Your Elders, Mentors, and Coaches

You better believe that there have been men before you that have paved the way in every aspect of life. Do not become so self-consumed that you forget to LISTEN.  Listening is very important. As I say, “Even the gurus have gurus.” You should be constantly learning and fine tuning your knowledge and lifestyle. There should not be a day that goes by that you do not hear something that grows your knowledge or challenges your current status quo.

An elder, mentor, or coach can be a family member, a friend, someone you have hired, or (thanks to technology) a blog/podcast that you tune into on a regular basis.

4. Be Nice

This will open doors for you. Most individuals only have certain types of people they get along with. Do not let yourself fall into this category. Part of what will make you unique is the fact that you get along with so many different types of people. The average person will be amazed by this simply because they are too close minded or stubborn to understand how you do it.

Having conversations with many different types of people will also allow you to learn and expand your knowledge. This is part of the listening step, you could be talking to your next mentor.

5. Take Everything You Hear with a Grain of Salt

We have talked about listening and being open to new ideas, but what about when someone is trying to feed you some straight nonsense? “Trust but verify” – the phrase made famous by Ronald Regan is definitely one to live by. Never act on information you have heard from just one individual. Research it for yourself or ask another person you trust what they think about the proclamation. Do not rush to be unique by jumping the second you hear some crazy information.

While part of being unique involves a certain amount of crazy, I like to call it “verified crazy”. This means you have “ran the numbers” so to speak. The greatest and most unique minds of all time were called crazy at first, however the only ones remembered are the ones whose theories checked out. Trust but verify my friends.

6. Pay EXTREMELY Close Attention to Detail

This is the icing on the cake, but some folks only eat the cake because of the icing. In other words, this habit could either make you or break you. Most oftentimes directing attention to the smallest detail will make all the difference in the world. Why? Because creative, smart, like-minded individuals will notice this attention to detail and be drawn to it. Incase you have not already caught on – THESE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU WANT AROUND YOU!

I’m sure you have heard the saying, “You can tell who a person is by who they choose to associate with” or some similar variation of the phrase. Attention to detail is a very big part of being unique because most people simply do not go the extra mile to make that happen. The last mile of the race is the most important, if you do not finish it, you lose. Let’s finish strong!!!

I hope this list will help jump start your journey from mediocre to extremely unique! Take this information and apply it. What you do from here is up to you. I look forward to speaking with you all again soon. 

Until next time…

Keep it up,

Jet Sunvale – The Backwoods Boulevardier

The Beginning

Friends,

We often think of the beginning as the start of something new… this is not always the case.

Sometimes the beginning just reveals something that has been going on for a very long while. Something that is unique, well crafted, that has been fermenting for years, and you are just now tasting its robust flavor for the very first time.

That is… THIS BLOG.

Evolving day-by-day, week-by-week, year-by-year… the experiences I have compiled are nothing short of multifarious.

There will be a wide range of topics discussed on this blog. Topics that are beneficial no matter your age, sex, or nationality. Please keep an open mind as some topics may seem somewhat controversial if you have never experienced them for yourself.

Personal development, business knowledge, fine dining/adult beverages, athleticism/weight lifting, county life, city life, fashion, and love for the great US of A will all be covered.

Please read “New? Start Here!” for a more detailed overview of what this blog is all about.

We are here to have fun, but its only fun when you win. Are you with me?

Keep it up,

Jet Sunvale – The Backwoods Boulevardier